Today was slow at first......but then when you stay up late , well we just don't always get a early start. I fight muscle spasms so much especially after I take my meds at night and My body begins to relax from the muscle relaxer. When those start, it is really bad and on my left side where my hip hurts so much anyway. Makes one really think hard about letting go and going on to bed. So it get rather late before I give in and then I can usually lay down and not remember anything until morning.
Scott's parents called on their way back home from being in Branson, which is the area where Mom is from, and we met them at Denny's tonight for dinner. It was nice to see them and talk with them. Dad was concerned about our car and it being in shape for the trips we need to make down to Columbia . So they are going to come by after Dad's appointment tommorrow at the VA and pay for new back tires on the car. That will help a whole lot, we were hoping we could do it ourselves but until we are both bringing in some income that just isn't going to happen.
So guess I will borrow Brie's car in the morning and we will take our car and leave it at Walmart for tires, and come back home in Brie's car. Then around 1pm or so when Brie goes out to work at the Paper, she will drop me off at the doctors office for my appointment, and Scott will stay at home waiting for his parents to come and get him to pay for the work done on the car. Somewhere along in there when I get through and they get things worked out on our car, someone will have to come back out to Dr office and pick me up.
I was reading earlier another blog that we have been watching lately. The writings are from people who are Christians and are following God, but are bring up good points about all the clutter, man-made goals, man-made interpretations that get in the way of us truly serving God. It brings up a lot of questions.....do we really have to have a big building to meet in? God just told us to assemble ourselves together didn't He? He didn't say anything about a big fancy building, however, he did tell us to help the widows and orphans but how can we do that if everything we bring in is going for morguage, utilities, and insurance. Just think how many widows and orphans that could be helped with that much money!!
Well, need to quit,eyes are very heavy tonight....here is the url for the blogs I am reading right now. http://www.kinnon.tv/2007/03/the_people_form.html
Friday, April 27, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Stop the World I want to get off or at least slow down...
Well, it seems I have used that title before but it sure seems appropriate again!! Thursday I got a phone call in the afternoon that told me I had an appointment down in Columbia on Monday the 23rd of April.
Boy was I surprised........ so I called down to the clinic to see what was going on. Apparently Carrie who I needed to talk to was already gone but AimeeK said it was suppose to be the last appointment before surgery according to the notes in the files......well, that didn't tell me anything, so I left a message on Carrie's voice mail asking her to please call me Friday.
Carrie did call me close to 10:30am on Friday and told me there had been a mistake on the appointment as she hadn't been able to get hold of me. However, if I wanted her to she could arrange for me to have all the appointments I needed to have on the 30th of April. All appointments meant the class I need to take, the Dr visit, and a visit with the anesthesiologist at the hospital. Since we travel 2 hours to get there that is a good deal! So I agreed to doing that, and since the money came in for the class, thank you Lord.
Brie and I went out for a short time on Friday, originally to go to the store but while out I decided I really needed to get shoes. I have been wearing the same pair everyday since just before Scott and i got married almost 2 years ago. Decided that they were probably what was adding to the leg and feet hurting all the time, and yes, they have made a difference. While out I got a call on my cell phone from Carrie and she had a date for surgery also. The first date she gave me was the 23rd of May but I found a message on my cell phone from her later in the afternoon where she had to change it and so it is set up for the 29th of May. I am to start a liquid protein diet 2 weeks prior to the surgery to prepare me for the changes.
This is not the beginning of the changes in my life style. I have been working on these changes for a couple of years or so now. It is not a diet it is a life style change. My stomach will now be the size of an egg.....I will be putting small amounts into it and I will be putting protein as a priority.......I have learned some of this already by the research I have been doing. However, the class I am to take will also cover some of this, Scott is to attend this with me to help with the decisions that need to be made now and later. I am looking forward to being able to buying clothes off the racks at Walmart, I think I am looking forward to being thin and hopefully being a lot healthier!!
Boy was I surprised........ so I called down to the clinic to see what was going on. Apparently Carrie who I needed to talk to was already gone but AimeeK said it was suppose to be the last appointment before surgery according to the notes in the files......well, that didn't tell me anything, so I left a message on Carrie's voice mail asking her to please call me Friday.
Carrie did call me close to 10:30am on Friday and told me there had been a mistake on the appointment as she hadn't been able to get hold of me. However, if I wanted her to she could arrange for me to have all the appointments I needed to have on the 30th of April. All appointments meant the class I need to take, the Dr visit, and a visit with the anesthesiologist at the hospital. Since we travel 2 hours to get there that is a good deal! So I agreed to doing that, and since the money came in for the class, thank you Lord.
Brie and I went out for a short time on Friday, originally to go to the store but while out I decided I really needed to get shoes. I have been wearing the same pair everyday since just before Scott and i got married almost 2 years ago. Decided that they were probably what was adding to the leg and feet hurting all the time, and yes, they have made a difference. While out I got a call on my cell phone from Carrie and she had a date for surgery also. The first date she gave me was the 23rd of May but I found a message on my cell phone from her later in the afternoon where she had to change it and so it is set up for the 29th of May. I am to start a liquid protein diet 2 weeks prior to the surgery to prepare me for the changes.
This is not the beginning of the changes in my life style. I have been working on these changes for a couple of years or so now. It is not a diet it is a life style change. My stomach will now be the size of an egg.....I will be putting small amounts into it and I will be putting protein as a priority.......I have learned some of this already by the research I have been doing. However, the class I am to take will also cover some of this, Scott is to attend this with me to help with the decisions that need to be made now and later. I am looking forward to being able to buying clothes off the racks at Walmart, I think I am looking forward to being thin and hopefully being a lot healthier!!
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Lifes Changes
It has been a long time since I have written on here and a lot has taken place.
The main reason for not posting has been because of health.....I have spent a lot of my time in the recliner with my feet propped up to keep swelling down as I have developed lymphedema and then later have battled a couple cases of cellulitis. Of course the asthma can't be out done, so as it kicks in of course the my dreaded drug has been needed......prednisone!! That stuff has done so much damage to my body it is a wonder I walk at all, at least this time I can say it has knocked down some of the pain level in the left leg. I am on the downward slide now, I needed it just a bit longer than the 5 day thing, so the doctor who did the recheck on Monday gave me a reducing slower over several days instead of a sudden drop. Those sudden drops are very hard on my system, I have a lot of withdrawal from prednisone anymore. But I am feeling better each day as far as the asthma is concerned.
Scott and I have made some other decisions over the past few months and we believe God is moving us to Boonville, Missouri. For one thing it will put us closer to where my gastric bypass surgery is and the follow up appointments I will need to make. Both of us feel that our bodies just aren't up to those long trips, neither is the poor 16 yr old car. However, we both agree at this point even if I wasn't having the surgery, we'd move anyway, we just have felt like Boonville is home every time we have been there now. We both feel the need to get out of the city and to really begin to depend on each other and God more.
We found some loft apartments that we really like and hopefully we can get into them. They are in an old Shoe Factory and are set up for the 55+ group, of which I qualify for and it only takes one of us. Here is a URL to the place http://www.homkor.com/selwynplace/amenities.asp We are planning to send the application and deposit just as soon as my back money from SSI comes in. Just got word it was released so should be getting it in a few days......the rest will go to pay for the class I have to take for the gastric bypass surgery. The rent for these lofts are about two-thirds what we are paying here and we should be able to handle that with out any problem.
I've also been doing a lot of thinking over the last few months about a lot of things and a lot of talking to God. I seem to have a lot more issues with my trust as I get older than I did when I was younger. I talked to my mom on the phone and mentioned that to her and she agreed that it was a problem she had noticed on her part also, so I don't feel so "wrong" for having those feelings. I believe it is that feeling of being "wrong" that puts us/mankind on our own guilt trips and causes us to put up barriers between us and God. We are the ones who leave God and allow ourselves to walk away, cause lets face it "if we were good Christians we wouldn't have doubts like that"......says who?? Are we not the same as everyone else? Sinners saved by Grace?
I know in my talks with God over the last few months I have come to Him so many times down, feeling like He wasn't there.....but God has so gently put His arms around me and held me close and reminded me to just take things one day at a time, even some days one minute at a time and I have seen Him work in ways that I knew He could work but always felt why would or should He do it for me. We have a Wonderful God who walks beside us, sometimes He has to come behind and give a little shove.......and then there are times when He lovingly carries us the distance. There are times when the path is so narrow that we have to keep our heads up and our eyes on Him as He leads us thru those paths of doubt and fear. He tells us not to be afraid to trust in Him and I think He knows that is hard for us to do, and that is why He is so gentle, kind and forgiving. That is why He walks beside us, with His arm around us and sometimes has to carry us.....have you ever tried to follow someone in the dark? When we are doubting and are in fear, we are in the dark, so when we call upon God for help He has to guide us out of that dark into understanding, into the light. Sometimes God has to keep pulling us along as we are wanting to come but we are just not sure, and God has to remind us constantly who He is and who we are.
In the last 20 years or so now I have found that there are a lot of things that I was taught while in the church that were more what man interpreted in the Bible. I have learned that a lot of things are a lot different and some of those things I have learned I owe to my children and the challenges they gave me as they saw things differently. I was raised that you did not question what you were taught by a "man of God" or by your parents along the Bible or Christian ways. However, if your parents learned under the same pastor......we were all in trouble if what we were being taught was not right. So having my children challenge the "Word" was new to me and at first didn't go over well, however, I'd also had a deal with my kids all along that IF they could show me a different way of doing something and it worked better and it accomplished what needed to be done, I'd go along with their way. If I was willing to do this in our everyday life.....why not give it a try in other parts of our relationship. I am very grateful I did as I have learned a lot from especially my daughter. I don't altogether agree with her stand she has taken right now, however, I do know why she has made some of the claims she has and I respect her for what she feels.
BLESSINGS AND HUGS TO ALL
The main reason for not posting has been because of health.....I have spent a lot of my time in the recliner with my feet propped up to keep swelling down as I have developed lymphedema and then later have battled a couple cases of cellulitis. Of course the asthma can't be out done, so as it kicks in of course the my dreaded drug has been needed......prednisone!! That stuff has done so much damage to my body it is a wonder I walk at all, at least this time I can say it has knocked down some of the pain level in the left leg. I am on the downward slide now, I needed it just a bit longer than the 5 day thing, so the doctor who did the recheck on Monday gave me a reducing slower over several days instead of a sudden drop. Those sudden drops are very hard on my system, I have a lot of withdrawal from prednisone anymore. But I am feeling better each day as far as the asthma is concerned.
Scott and I have made some other decisions over the past few months and we believe God is moving us to Boonville, Missouri. For one thing it will put us closer to where my gastric bypass surgery is and the follow up appointments I will need to make. Both of us feel that our bodies just aren't up to those long trips, neither is the poor 16 yr old car. However, we both agree at this point even if I wasn't having the surgery, we'd move anyway, we just have felt like Boonville is home every time we have been there now. We both feel the need to get out of the city and to really begin to depend on each other and God more.
We found some loft apartments that we really like and hopefully we can get into them. They are in an old Shoe Factory and are set up for the 55+ group, of which I qualify for and it only takes one of us. Here is a URL to the place http://www.homkor.com/selwynplace/amenities.asp We are planning to send the application and deposit just as soon as my back money from SSI comes in. Just got word it was released so should be getting it in a few days......the rest will go to pay for the class I have to take for the gastric bypass surgery. The rent for these lofts are about two-thirds what we are paying here and we should be able to handle that with out any problem.
I've also been doing a lot of thinking over the last few months about a lot of things and a lot of talking to God. I seem to have a lot more issues with my trust as I get older than I did when I was younger. I talked to my mom on the phone and mentioned that to her and she agreed that it was a problem she had noticed on her part also, so I don't feel so "wrong" for having those feelings. I believe it is that feeling of being "wrong" that puts us/mankind on our own guilt trips and causes us to put up barriers between us and God. We are the ones who leave God and allow ourselves to walk away, cause lets face it "if we were good Christians we wouldn't have doubts like that"......says who?? Are we not the same as everyone else? Sinners saved by Grace?
I know in my talks with God over the last few months I have come to Him so many times down, feeling like He wasn't there.....but God has so gently put His arms around me and held me close and reminded me to just take things one day at a time, even some days one minute at a time and I have seen Him work in ways that I knew He could work but always felt why would or should He do it for me. We have a Wonderful God who walks beside us, sometimes He has to come behind and give a little shove.......and then there are times when He lovingly carries us the distance. There are times when the path is so narrow that we have to keep our heads up and our eyes on Him as He leads us thru those paths of doubt and fear. He tells us not to be afraid to trust in Him and I think He knows that is hard for us to do, and that is why He is so gentle, kind and forgiving. That is why He walks beside us, with His arm around us and sometimes has to carry us.....have you ever tried to follow someone in the dark? When we are doubting and are in fear, we are in the dark, so when we call upon God for help He has to guide us out of that dark into understanding, into the light. Sometimes God has to keep pulling us along as we are wanting to come but we are just not sure, and God has to remind us constantly who He is and who we are.
In the last 20 years or so now I have found that there are a lot of things that I was taught while in the church that were more what man interpreted in the Bible. I have learned that a lot of things are a lot different and some of those things I have learned I owe to my children and the challenges they gave me as they saw things differently. I was raised that you did not question what you were taught by a "man of God" or by your parents along the Bible or Christian ways. However, if your parents learned under the same pastor......we were all in trouble if what we were being taught was not right. So having my children challenge the "Word" was new to me and at first didn't go over well, however, I'd also had a deal with my kids all along that IF they could show me a different way of doing something and it worked better and it accomplished what needed to be done, I'd go along with their way. If I was willing to do this in our everyday life.....why not give it a try in other parts of our relationship. I am very grateful I did as I have learned a lot from especially my daughter. I don't altogether agree with her stand she has taken right now, however, I do know why she has made some of the claims she has and I respect her for what she feels.
BLESSINGS AND HUGS TO ALL
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