Having a rough day yesterday and today. My best friend is hurting and there is nothing at all I can do about it. On days like this the human part of me cries out and asks God if He is really there. I'm so tired of hurting physically and emotionally. (By the way yes I know that God is real and is there and has a plan for all of this.)
Last year I had a problem and felt I needed to take an action that was right for my survival, later I dropped the action and thought it was all over. However, the state decided they needed to pursue it and even though we had made the arrangements that was needed and things were going great......it now has but up a major problem and my best friend can't have any contact with me which is tearing me apart. We were separate for our 4th anniversary and now I have missed fathers day and yesterday was his birthday.
Well, I'm back and on a funny note as I was typing there was a terrible crash in the kitchen, have been having trouble with kittens going through the window between dinning room area and kitchen and getting on the cabinets. Well, Smokey may not be doing that for awhile but then you know kittens are always curious. Wish I could have gotten a pic of Smokey with the watering can stuck on his head but felt it was more important to get him free so he didn't get hurt or nothing got broken. The can was about half full so you can imagine the mess on the floor and the cat!The pics at the top are after I used a towel on him as he was dripping and I didn't want him to get on the computer either.
On top of everything I have no idea how my best friend is physically......I get an idea how he is mentally by reading his blog and his posts on ASBO . I know he isn't real strong when under the stress he is under currently but there isn't a thing I can do to help out. For awhile I knew he wasn't blaming me for what happened but not so sure of that anymore and that hurts a lot. I did what I had to to survive and then I tried to undo it and did......we were getting along so well after he got his own place to live and then we could be together as we needed to be. Life was getting better and then the state stepped in and messed it all up for us!! I'm angry, I'm frustrated, I'm hurting and so is he and there isn't a damn thing I can do about any of it!!
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