Monday, October 01, 2007

Ever wish you could claim "Redo" like the games you played as a child?

Sunday is usually pretty good days for me but this is one day that I wish I could "redo" this time. Seems like it has just been a bad day for me. I didn't have much sleep the night before and then I woke up and realised I'd over spent the day before.....and it wasn't even the first day of the month!! I just don't do that, I always have taken my obligations seriously.......but Saturday was just one of those days for me and then Sunday turned out bad because of what I did Saturday. Not good!!

Of course the fact that I had gotten a call from my Brother Paul with the news that Dad has cancer again. Paul believes that from things he heard while around our folks that they expect this to be a fast moving cancer, again not good for the making of a good day. It is like all sense just left me.....Dad will be 80 this year and we are planning to go up there on the 20th and all of us meet and take mom and dad out to dinner for their birthdays. Hopefully we can come up with the money to do that now.

I managed to make the best of the rest of Sunday......first we joined the Santa Fe Baptist Church where we have been going. Scott and I both pretty well knew last week that we were going to join, we just needed to take the step and so we did this morning. We both feel wanted and needed there at the church, a couple from here at the apartment and another lady from here go there too. Stanley and Donna both teach an adult class, Stanley the mens and Donna the women, we have decided to join the Pastors new class that He and his Wife are starting.

Polly, the other lady from the apartments, has a time just before the message, during the service where all the small children come to the front and Polly talks with the kids and presents a small lesson for them. Today they talked about pets and she was asking them about their pets, at the time we couldn't see who said they had crickets for a pet but afterwards, Pastor Tom had the man in the booth turn on the video in the daycare center where his wife was and informed her they needed to see about a dog as their son David told everyone his pet was cricket. It really was funny and i agree with Pastor Tom, you never know what kids are going to say. Pastor Tom did tell us they had crickets real bad in their basement and they were trying to get rid of them, but in the meantime his sons did catch them and put them in jars from time to time.

I have not felt good at all today and the other stress just added to it. I have hurt pretty bad for the last few days and have not been able to get much sleep because of it. I did sleep for a couple hours after church, then got up and went down to commons room to watch Chiefs Football. We were behind when I got downstairs and it was about time for the half time, but we made up for it in the last half and went on to win 30 to 17 over San Diego Chargers....way to go Chiefs!! I got to hurting more so went back upstairs and spent the evening watching TV and working on the chimneys and windows of one of the Train buildings I have, will take a picture and post it tomorrow. I really like the way it is coming together now and I think that Scott does too. He made a comment tonight that he wondered if it would ever get made and now he is seeing it and likes what he sees. He has helped me a time or two when something was just not going for me or when My hand was just too shaky to place something straight.

Okay feels like pain meds has started to work so off to bed for me.....Night

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Where has time gone?

Wow....in approximately 2 more months this coming Monday and it will be Christmas 2007......Where has time gone? Things here are moving along pretty good. I had a spell of not being to keep the chicken from the home made soup down tonight. Wasn't able to eat desert either....GGGRRRRRR Not sure what causes it but with such a small stomach it doesn't feel real good to lose what is in it. I have an appointment on the 23rd of October to have another scan....maybe they can find the answer. As I write this I am downing a protein shake, at least this way I am sure to get the protein down. It might very well be the fact that I don't really have enough teeth to properly chew up the chicken meat that caused tonight's episode. I guess I can run the meat through the processor, would rather not have all the other stuff mush, but maybe the meat could go through.

I did go today and get the blood tests I was needing to get for the 3rd month checkup. They will fax the results over to the Bariatrics Office for me. I don't know what they will find but hopefully I am okay with everything and we won't have to add any more vitamins of anything like that. If not before I will get the results of those when I go for the checkup on the 23rd too, after the scan.

Haven't heard from my son lately but know he wasn't going to reactivate his phone for awhile and try to catch up on bills. My dd Brie had his girls with her over night a couple weekends ago and took the to the renaissance festival. Jerrica loved it and Julie did okay but she was fighting a summer cold and that makes anyone miserable. Scott and I got to talk to them on the phone while they were there because Brie has the free calling on her phone. That was such a joy to talk to them, we miss the little buggers!! Jerrica let us know that she wanted to talk to Papa Scott, they get along pretty good now since she used some of his stuff to build with....that surprised us all how she was drawn to art and making things.

Well I am trying to get a group up here in the apartments to doing crafts and Hobbies. I know there are several who do quilts and some who embroidery, some who do cross stitch.....I am anxious to see how this comes about. One of the things I think I will do is to make up small circles with Pins on the back of them and have the group make their own pins, like a woman head......and maybe I can come up with a pattern i can sew up some small dolls and have them decorate them. I hope we can make this something everyone will want to participate in.

I have rejoined the FairieGoddessMothers again. I missed this group a lot and am glad to be back in it. Now I do need to get busy and do a quilts with the fairie pattern sent to me. They also have a lot of different things that I can get involved in.

Well, protein drink is gone so guess I'd better get started to bed soon. Night!

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Newest building I have been working on


This is a combination of 2 kits that are the same. Reminds me some of a Boys boarding School. The small green buildings in the background are some Scott had started and almost desroyed when he was having some problems. i saved them and now with his help we are trying to restore them to go back on my RR.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

More pics


These first 2 of course of Julie














































This picture is of all 3 kids once Brie took Julie back home.
Jerrica, Mikey, Julie

Julie is 4 today


My youngest grand daughter Julie's birthday is today. Her Aunty Brie went last night and picked her up and they had a girls nite together. Brie had planned on taking her to the zoo when i last talked to Brie, however she took her out to a homestead park where it is free and Julie could see the farm animals. Brie took her on a hayride and then paid for her to have a pony ride also. She seemed to have a lot of fun, she really liked the pony ride. Brie also took her to one of those stores where you pick out the animal and then you stuff it yourself, Julie picked out a dog instead of a bear . It is a husky dog I believe they said.

Brie took some pics, she has sent me a few and said she would send me the bigger files so I can get some copied off. I really do like the picture of the kids together...just wish they had left Julies hair longer, it has so much curl in it. Oh well it is summer and they need to be comfortable in it too. Jerrica's hair is so straight I do like hers cut short.....but she looks too grown up, not ready for her to 5 in October.

Well, I'm glad Brie and Julie had a day out and then she got her back in time for Mandy's family to come and have birthday with her at her house. Wish I could have been there and wish i had extra $ but right now that is not in our small budget, hopefully once Scott starts getting his disability i will have some money to spend on the kids. Right now however, with my income the only income.....I have to start trying to get stuff made up for them. Just not happening this year what with surgery and all.

Happy Birthday Julie!!

Another sleepless night

I just get to sleep good and the hip pain kicks in and wakes me up.....laying on it hurts, and not laying on it hurts even more. I can't sleep on my back or stomach anymore so that's out too. I think not having the ibuprofen is part of it, I know in the past when I was able to have a couple of doses of it down me over a days time made a difference. I will ask the bariatrics doctor if there is anyway I can have some yet. I have an appointment with them on Monday morning.

Scott called them this morning when I was having trouble getting my breakfast shake down. For some reason was having trouble not with swallowing but with it feeling like it wouldn't go through the opening in to my stomach. It really hurts when that happens, I had one other occasion of this happening this week and the reflex is automatic for what ever it is to come straight back up......and that is what the nurse practitioner thought was happening this morning when i had to throw up. Natalie believes that I am probably swollen down there a little due to the first time earlier in the week. So they had me go on a liquid diet for a day or so to give it a rest.

I am still losing weight but did discover that I wasn't getting all of my protein I was suppose to when I first started in to stage 4 of eating and adding soft food. So when I go back to eating soft foods again will need to watch that closer. Some how will need to start making a diary of what i eat and keep that up, I have had a terrible time in the past doing that, but will give it a chance once again.

Worked on my new building some this last week. I am to a place where I am adding something to the middle of the building that wasn't there. It is something like having a small place in the middle of the building where it is outside so that you can have "hidden garden". It will be like going out for some fresh air on your break or lunchtime. Scott had the idea and little by little I am getting it done.

I am also working on getting patterns made for a wall hanging to go over our bed. It is called Tranquility and can be found at http://www.woodsandquilts.com/Patterns.htm We are kind of partial to cats around here and this just looked like the best thing to put above our heads at night. I have both sets taped together with one being the guide line for the wall hanging and the other set can now be cut out into patterns. I don't think that the over all construction will be hard at all....it is the adding the middle section and quilting it that will get to me. But I have the confidence I can do it this time.

Well, the chimes just brought in 6AM....where has time gone? I wanted to mention that the Lord blessed us the other day. We thought that the phone and Internet were going to be shut off but the Lord intervened and someone sent us 1/2 of the phone bill due and the other 1/2 we will be able to pick up and pay first of the month. When God uses someone and they give "seed money" I'm not sure who gets more of a blessing the giver or the receiver....I do know that God has worked in our lives and blessed us with some wonderful friends and some of the best ones we have met on the Internet. I pray God will bless this family and they get a special blessing for what they have done.

I just had a major spasm in the left hip and leg just now. I sure wish I knew what to do about it. These things are getting worse and more painful as we go along. As the weight comes off, I sure hope that the pain will lessen and that I will be able to sleep at night instead of off and on.

Well, the chimes went off again, it is 7AM and I'd better go get my meds taken and breakfast figured out.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Buildings I have made.....

Well, finally figured how to get the building pictures posted. The first group of buildings are actually paper and were sent to me by a friend of Scott's, Joe Rainmaker. Scott met Joe on a group list that he is on. I appreciate the gift and actually had fun making it.

The second picture is of the building I made from scrapes of another building Scott had started before giving me the Ho trains and buildings. I am very pleased how the rock building turned out. I was able to color differently a few of the rocks which accents the building a lot. As can be seen in the picture i have several buildings that Scott started and now i get to finish....and that is said with a positive attitude. I am looking forward to working on them in the future. Right now I am working on another stone factory that will be a garment factory. When I get a chance I will take a picture and post it also.

I am up right now as my stomach was telling me it needed food. Haven't gotten a good handle yet on making it through till morning.....well a little later in the morning. I'm having some vanilla yogurt with some protein in it. Don't have much chewing involved in eating this but am making sure I take my time about swallowing it. Had to throw up earlier some egg that I;d tried to chop up on food processor, there was a small hunk that didn't get down in the rest to be chopped up and didn't watch to make sure i chewed it into nothing before swallowing......apparently it was too big to go through the small opening to my new stomach. I learned yesterday that when this happens you have pain and then no choice....it comes up whether your ready or not. But I felt 100% better after it happened.

well yogurt is about finished and my bed is calling me again.

furniture factory I made

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Sunday, August 12, 2007


Well couldn't sleep tonight, got started on another building and it was hard to stop the mind as well as the project. Had to put wood sticks in for reenforcement as usual so worked and got most of those in. Pain pills take hold and so is the drowseness but just had to take a minute and post a picture of my youngest grandson. My daughter took the pic when Aunty Brie went by and took the kids for Ice Cream.

Mikey is 2 years old.....where has time gone?? He got a bit upset with Aunty Brie as every once in awhile she would have to lick some off that was melting before it got all over him. Of course now when Aunty Brie shows up at their house all 3 kids are out to find their shoes and hope Aunty Brie has come to take them for ice cream again.

Aunty Brie will have to go over around the 18th of this month for Julie's Birthday.....She will be 4yrs old. In October the oldest of the girls Jerrica will be 5yrs old. Really hard to believe they should be that old.

Okay bedtime....oh, I was down to 303# this morning before I ate breakfast......I figured the weight would go up and down but so far it is going down and that is a good thing.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

So much has happened.....

So much has happened since last I updated.....the biggest being I have finally had the gastric bypass surgery. Things went well with the exception of a fst heart rate that was'nt coming down. After several test on the heart, the doctor decided she needed to go back in with a scope and make sure nothing was wrong down in side. Everything was aokay and I was sent back up to my room again to try to sleep the stuff off again. So finally after extra days of poking whic caused a lot of black and blue marks, it was decided that my heart was just going to faster for now. So instead of being in the hospital just a couple days, I was let go home on the 30th and did fine until the 3rd of Aug..

Apparently on the 3rd I discovered what the "dumping syndrom" is in gastric bypass. Not a pretty sight at all. The bedding suffered badly and was finally thrown away it was so nasty. I went back to hospital through the ER and was on IV for rehydration for the night. I finally also got them to pay more attention to the spot where the drain tube had come out on the Thursday before. I had been running low grade fever with the highest being just the night before having the drain removed, 100.7 fever is not a fun thing. Anyway they finally dug some of the yuck out of the hole and began to pack it. When they went to send me home on Sat. I did finally to give me some antibiotics for all the infection. In fact I refused to leave the hospital without some.

After I talked to Jennifer the dietician and we decided that I was now lactose intolerant, which is what we believe caused the "dumping" So have changed over to soy milk and soy protein....doing much better now. This was a major blow for me as milk has never hurt me like that before, but was told it is not uncommon for someone to do after the surgery. Come this friday the 10th I can start adding a solid food. Must remember to chew it to a nothing paste like to get it to go through the small opening and small stomach I now have. I have also lost about 34lbs since moving here to Boonville.

Before surgery I did get creative and put together a couple buildings. One was a kit that a friend had sent and it is actually made of Paper and has 3 buildings to it. I'm very pleased with how it went together......here is a picture of it.














I also have another building I made out of scrape that was left over from a building Scott was working on while he was in to the Ho trains. He has now gone to a different size trains On30 and Gn15....I just know they are bigger and He pretty much has to make the things for them as the few things they have are too exspensive. But then that is what he likes to do, take things apart and redo them. Anyway back to my buildings here is a picture of the other one, still have a bit to do on it but this is the one made out of scraps......













The building with the tractor in front of it is the one. As can be seen there are several more that need finished. I will get to them and have a couple of quilt or wall hangings planned down the road here. First i want to get over to the YMCA and get the papers filled out for the scholarship program they have and try to start exercising for all this weight lose. Need to work on muscles and keep them working right, maybe it will help the Fibro too.

Okay time to close out this late night entry and try to get back to sleep.....

Monday, June 25, 2007

June 25, 2007 We've been here 20 days now....

Scott was just saying this evening how we haven't been here a month yet but it seems like we have been here longer in some ways, yet it doesn't. We have a lot of things unpacked but still need to rearrange the 2nd bedroom so that we can get it ready for the train boards to go up. We do have a good size path through the 2nd bedroom, 2 book shelves up and the computers up and running. Some of my sewing things are in the closet in this bedroom also, still have a couple of boxes out, also know I have one large plastic container that will not fit into the closet that has sewing and other craft things in it, it will have to go somewhere under the boards until I can go through it and figure out what all is in it and what i can do with it.

We also have his and my plastic boxes of train buildings, but we already discussed that they would have to go under the boards and come out slowly as we can put them up. The plan for my train set, is to put it out with my Jungle/fairies in the living room. If I get to do what I want to do it will be so cool looking in there!! My plants are really liking all the light from the tall windows so they are growing and I am trying to figure the wire it will take to make my fairies look as if the are flying thru all of this. Hey, it's my railroad!!

Okay, I have a date for surgery.....August 1, ..... I start my Protein diet 2 weeks before that so I will be prepared for it after the surgery also. I know this is the right thing to do, I have to get more of the weight down so I can get to feeling better. Fibro has hit me pretty hard this week, It hit last Friday and has been rough ever since, the body hurts all the time, and all I have done most of the last few days is sleep. Having said that.....that is where I say good night and head back to bed.

Monday, June 11, 2007

In Our New Place

We are finally in our new place and.... No we still have lots to unpack!! But then if we do a bit each day it will eventually get done....Right?? It will go faster than that eventually but for now, we are both so tired that is about how it is going.

We have found several things broken that we need to get reported to the movers soon, and that is frustrating to us both. One thing is another of the glass cooking pans, that only leaves us with one glass sauce pan left....guess we are going to have to do some serious pan shopping here soon. The one thing however, that is the most, well I'm really not sure what to call it is my extra computer monitor that they didn't even move. It was just fine before they got there the day of packing and when we went to load it into the car the housing was cracked right down the middle of the monitor!! How did they do that??

Tomorrow I hope to try to work on the flowers in the livingroom and get the flower/rockgarden started in there. I miss my water fountain and my rocks and seashells to mess with too. Today I found some of my material and sewing things and got them in the closet that Scott said was mine here in the extra room. Still have a few more things to find but they are mixed up else where in the boxes. I hope to find all of my train stuff and get it in a pile also, seems to be the best way to break these piles down to manageable piles.
Blessings and HUGS to all

Monday, May 28, 2007

We are Moving!!

WOW!! Can't believe it is almost here!! The movers will be here around 2pm on June4th to pack us up in their truck and then they will unpack the truck in Boonville the next morning at 9am. Scott folks were here yesterday, Saturday, and helped us do some packing. I am truly grateful for the help they both did, they haven't even had time to unpack from their own move yet but took time to come help us and will help us on the 4th take stuff down that the movers can't take in their truck. Mom packed up my kitchen and I am so grateful for that......I feel so bad as I was not much help yesterday at all. I hurt so much all day, tried to just get by on the lighter pain pills so I'd be available if needed to answer questions, but finally had to give in sometime after 4pm and take the heavier pain pills. With things that we already had packed piled up it was hard to have more than 1 person in the kitchen anyway, I guess if I could have figued out how to have sat down and wrapped up dishes I could have helped out that way. You know how hind sight is always there when you least want it!!grrrrr

We go down to Columbia on Thursday May 31, to see the Cardiologist and Pulmonologist. Then we will go on over to sign papers in Boonville at the apartment. We will also be taking a load with us that we can unload then. It is my wish that we will take a car load at this time, as I think we are going to have a lot of things to take that the movers won't be able to take. We will probably have to go ahead and start loading that the day before, Wed., as we will have to leave around 7:30 or8AM to get to the doctors on time and I don't want to get up real early and pack the car!

WE ARE MOVING!!!!

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Auntie Brie takes the kids to the Zoo

My daughter Brie decided she would take the 2 granddaughter Julie and Jerrica to the Zoo a couple Saturdays ago. She figured no big problem, she'd just rent a stroller for 2 and they'd be okay.....what she didn't know was.....she wasn't getting out of the house this time with out baby boy Mikey. I understand at first when he realised he had to go with Brie he wasn't going, he hasn't or hadn't at that point completely made up with Brie, but then he realised his sisters were both going and he wasn't being left out!!

Soooooo......our brave and courageous Auntie Brie still rented a 2 seater stroller for Mikey(2yrs old) and Julie (3yrs old), then Jerrica(4yrs old) walked the whole way and if you ask any of the kids if they enjoyed the Zoo with Auntie Brie and you get major SMILES, I think that is a definite YES!!















Julie is the blond, Jerrica the brunette and Mikey has the ornery smile this time!! May he always keep those cute dimples!!

Scott and I look forward to being a part of their lives and to encourage them to have healthy imaginations and to always try new things.

So soon as I can get pictures of my oldest Grandson Dallas I will have his up. I did get a wonderful early Grand"mothers" Day gift earlier this evening when I got to talk to him on the phone for a few minutes. I hope to see him at least once before we move down to Boonville and then to try to keep an open communication with him.

"If it keeps getting better and better Oh Lord, I don't know what I'm gonna do.... "

That is a phrase in a song I remember some quartets singing when I was much younger..... These words sorta explain how I felt this last week when God was doing His Miracles for us and we were receiving them. WOW.......don't we serve an awesome God?

First, I'll tell you what has happened, then I'll go back and fill in the "rest of the story". Friday afternoon we received a call from the manager of Selwyn Place Apartments, we have the apartment in Boonville, Mo. and we can move in anytime. We don't have the money to move in until June, so we will sign the papers on the 31st when we are down in Columbia for more doctor appointments and begin moving in immediately as Scott's folks have hired 2 Men and a Truck to move us down there, Bless their hearts!! Boy has that lifted some stress off of me anyway, now we just have to work harder to get all of the packing done so it is ready for that day......we are planning for the 4th of June....which is also our anniversary. What a wonderful way to spend our anniversary......I mean that seriously as I know that this move is in Gods plan.

Okay to fill in......we went to our classfor the gastric bypass surgery, saw the doctor and even went to the hospital and did the preregister/anesthesia visit. We did have a small hitch however, as Dr Ramaswamy, the surgeon I have been seeing, felt there was a need for me to see the Cardiology and Pulmonology Doctors before I do go into surgery. Part of that is due to the fact that I have had to be on prednisone every month over the last 4 or 5 month. I've also had the development of lymphedema and now cellulitis and the cellulitis has been present every time I've had to be on prednisone for my asthma. That has been very discouraging for me and there have been times when I just knew they were going to call the whole thing off........"Oh Ye of Little Faith". But someone has always come through with positives and encouragement and I've had to go to God asking forgiveness, which He has granted and gone one more by showing me different things and ways that He was going to provide. I had the hard part.......waiting!!

Again I say......don't we serve an awesome God??

Because of the new appointments, and the fact that they couldn't take place until May31, the surgery date of May29th had to be canceled, and will be rescheduled as soon as all are at piece that I can go through this surgery without problems of the heart or respiratory, and that is A-OK by me. I believe God also showed me, that He had a plan for us to be moved to Boonville before I went to surgery also. It should be a lot easier on Scott this way, he will have a place to go home to that is a lot closer, and hopefully He won't have as much trouble leaving me there at the hospital as he would if he'd had to come clear up to Lee's Summit. Besides we just can't afford the gas to drive back and forth that far.

Our appointment start at 9 am in one of these departments,Pulmonology or Cardiology, I have it written down; then the other one is in the same area at 10am. When we get through with the Doctors and hospital, then we will go pay rent and sign papers in Boonville and move the stuff we take with us on in to the apartment. Then we hope to move the rest of it on the 4th.

Here we had no idea HOW any of this was going to happen but yet we really felt that it was what God wanted us to do, so all we could do was sit back and wait on God and see what He had in store for us and how He was going to make it all happen........and HE DID, God made it happen, not us. What an awesome God we serve!!

Friday, April 27, 2007

Another Day of Watching God Work

Today was slow at first......but then when you stay up late , well we just don't always get a early start. I fight muscle spasms so much especially after I take my meds at night and My body begins to relax from the muscle relaxer. When those start, it is really bad and on my left side where my hip hurts so much anyway. Makes one really think hard about letting go and going on to bed. So it get rather late before I give in and then I can usually lay down and not remember anything until morning.

Scott's parents called on their way back home from being in Branson, which is the area where Mom is from, and we met them at Denny's tonight for dinner. It was nice to see them and talk with them. Dad was concerned about our car and it being in shape for the trips we need to make down to Columbia . So they are going to come by after Dad's appointment tommorrow at the VA and pay for new back tires on the car. That will help a whole lot, we were hoping we could do it ourselves but until we are both bringing in some income that just isn't going to happen.

So guess I will borrow Brie's car in the morning and we will take our car and leave it at Walmart for tires, and come back home in Brie's car. Then around 1pm or so when Brie goes out to work at the Paper, she will drop me off at the doctors office for my appointment, and Scott will stay at home waiting for his parents to come and get him to pay for the work done on the car. Somewhere along in there when I get through and they get things worked out on our car, someone will have to come back out to Dr office and pick me up.

I was reading earlier another blog that we have been watching lately. The writings are from people who are Christians and are following God, but are bring up good points about all the clutter, man-made goals, man-made interpretations that get in the way of us truly serving God. It brings up a lot of questions.....do we really have to have a big building to meet in? God just told us to assemble ourselves together didn't He? He didn't say anything about a big fancy building, however, he did tell us to help the widows and orphans but how can we do that if everything we bring in is going for morguage, utilities, and insurance. Just think how many widows and orphans that could be helped with that much money!!

Well, need to quit,eyes are very heavy tonight....here is the url for the blogs I am reading right now. http://www.kinnon.tv/2007/03/the_people_form.html

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Stop the World I want to get off or at least slow down...

Well, it seems I have used that title before but it sure seems appropriate again!! Thursday I got a phone call in the afternoon that told me I had an appointment down in Columbia on Monday the 23rd of April.

Boy was I surprised........ so I called down to the clinic to see what was going on. Apparently Carrie who I needed to talk to was already gone but AimeeK said it was suppose to be the last appointment before surgery according to the notes in the files......well, that didn't tell me anything, so I left a message on Carrie's voice mail asking her to please call me Friday.


Carrie did call me close to 10:30am on Friday and told me there had been a mistake on the appointment as she hadn't been able to get hold of me. However, if I wanted her to she could arrange for me to have all the appointments I needed to have on the 30th of April. All appointments meant the class I need to take, the Dr visit, and a visit with the anesthesiologist at the hospital. Since we travel 2 hours to get there that is a good deal! So I agreed to doing that, and since the money came in for the class, thank you Lord.

Brie and I went out for a short time on Friday, originally to go to the store but while out I decided I really needed to get shoes. I have been wearing the same pair everyday since just before Scott and i got married almost 2 years ago. Decided that they were probably what was adding to the leg and feet hurting all the time, and yes, they have made a difference. While out I got a call on my cell phone from Carrie and she had a date for surgery also. The first date she gave me was the 23rd of May but I found a message on my cell phone from her later in the afternoon where she had to change it and so it is set up for the 29th of May. I am to start a liquid protein diet 2 weeks prior to the surgery to prepare me for the changes.

This is not the beginning of the changes in my life style. I have been working on these changes for a couple of years or so now. It is not a diet it is a life style change. My stomach will now be the size of an egg.....I will be putting small amounts into it and I will be putting protein as a priority.......I have learned some of this already by the research I have been doing. However, the class I am to take will also cover some of this, Scott is to attend this with me to help with the decisions that need to be made now and later. I am looking forward to being able to buying clothes off the racks at Walmart, I think I am looking forward to being thin and hopefully being a lot healthier!!

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Lifes Changes

It has been a long time since I have written on here and a lot has taken place.

The main reason for not posting has been because of health.....I have spent a lot of my time in the recliner with my feet propped up to keep swelling down as I have developed lymphedema and then later have battled a couple cases of cellulitis. Of course the asthma can't be out done, so as it kicks in of course the my dreaded drug has been needed......prednisone!! That stuff has done so much damage to my body it is a wonder I walk at all, at least this time I can say it has knocked down some of the pain level in the left leg. I am on the downward slide now, I needed it just a bit longer than the 5 day thing, so the doctor who did the recheck on Monday gave me a reducing slower over several days instead of a sudden drop. Those sudden drops are very hard on my system, I have a lot of withdrawal from prednisone anymore. But I am feeling better each day as far as the asthma is concerned.

Scott and I have made some other decisions over the past few months and we believe God is moving us to Boonville, Missouri. For one thing it will put us closer to where my gastric bypass surgery is and the follow up appointments I will need to make. Both of us feel that our bodies just aren't up to those long trips, neither is the poor 16 yr old car. However, we both agree at this point even if I wasn't having the surgery, we'd move anyway, we just have felt like Boonville is home every time we have been there now. We both feel the need to get out of the city and to really begin to depend on each other and God more.

We found some loft apartments that we really like and hopefully we can get into them. They are in an old Shoe Factory and are set up for the 55+ group, of which I qualify for and it only takes one of us. Here is a URL to the place http://www.homkor.com/selwynplace/amenities.asp We are planning to send the application and deposit just as soon as my back money from SSI comes in. Just got word it was released so should be getting it in a few days......the rest will go to pay for the class I have to take for the gastric bypass surgery. The rent for these lofts are about two-thirds what we are paying here and we should be able to handle that with out any problem.

I've also been doing a lot of thinking over the last few months about a lot of things and a lot of talking to God. I seem to have a lot more issues with my trust as I get older than I did when I was younger. I talked to my mom on the phone and mentioned that to her and she agreed that it was a problem she had noticed on her part also, so I don't feel so "wrong" for having those feelings. I believe it is that feeling of being "wrong" that puts us/mankind on our own guilt trips and causes us to put up barriers between us and God. We are the ones who leave God and allow ourselves to walk away, cause lets face it "if we were good Christians we wouldn't have doubts like that"......says who?? Are we not the same as everyone else? Sinners saved by Grace?

I know in my talks with God over the last few months I have come to Him so many times down, feeling like He wasn't there.....but God has so gently put His arms around me and held me close and reminded me to just take things one day at a time, even some days one minute at a time and I have seen Him work in ways that I knew He could work but always felt why would or should He do it for me. We have a Wonderful God who walks beside us, sometimes He has to come behind and give a little shove.......and then there are times when He lovingly carries us the distance. There are times when the path is so narrow that we have to keep our heads up and our eyes on Him as He leads us thru those paths of doubt and fear. He tells us not to be afraid to trust in Him and I think He knows that is hard for us to do, and that is why He is so gentle, kind and forgiving. That is why He walks beside us, with His arm around us and sometimes has to carry us.....have you ever tried to follow someone in the dark? When we are doubting and are in fear, we are in the dark, so when we call upon God for help He has to guide us out of that dark into understanding, into the light. Sometimes God has to keep pulling us along as we are wanting to come but we are just not sure, and God has to remind us constantly who He is and who we are.

In the last 20 years or so now I have found that there are a lot of things that I was taught while in the church that were more what man interpreted in the Bible. I have learned that a lot of things are a lot different and some of those things I have learned I owe to my children and the challenges they gave me as they saw things differently. I was raised that you did not question what you were taught by a "man of God" or by your parents along the Bible or Christian ways. However, if your parents learned under the same pastor......we were all in trouble if what we were being taught was not right. So having my children challenge the "Word" was new to me and at first didn't go over well, however, I'd also had a deal with my kids all along that IF they could show me a different way of doing something and it worked better and it accomplished what needed to be done, I'd go along with their way. If I was willing to do this in our everyday life.....why not give it a try in other parts of our relationship. I am very grateful I did as I have learned a lot from especially my daughter. I don't altogether agree with her stand she has taken right now, however, I do know why she has made some of the claims she has and I respect her for what she feels.

BLESSINGS AND HUGS TO ALL

Monday, January 08, 2007

Happy New Year

It is a new year and I have been busy trying to keep doctors visits and keep swelling in my legs down......don't spend much time on computer. My computer is temporarly down as the turn on switch is out of mine. My daughter had been working on putting together a different one for me anyway so trying to be patient and wait till she gets it finished. Meantime I can always use husbands.....when he isn't on it.

When I do sit with my feet up I have been trying to cut out some blocks for a quilt, it is a 1 1/2" blocks and it takes 9 of them to make up a block. There will be more but that much is all for nowas that is all I can handle at one time. I still haven't completely figured out how many I will have to have for the queen size bed.

I guess we will finally have to put the Christmas tree up tomorrow or it might be Tuesday as we hve so many appointments tomorrow. I have a Physically Therapy for my legs at 8AM and then we have counceling appointments in the afternoon starting at 1pmis mine 2pm is Scotts and then he has another appointment at 3:45pm and somewhere along the way we have to go to the store!!

My goals for this year is to finish up a couple of quilts I started several years ago. One needs to have the backing and filling added to it but the other needs to have the top finished. I still have some flat lace that needs to be added to it and then a border put around it to make it larger, then decide on a backing and filler. I hope one day this year to purchase a sewing machine that will zigzag.....I love my sewing machine I have that does the straight stitch but there are times when I do wish I had a zigzag.

Well, 7:00AM comes awful early......will have to leave here by 7:30 to get there on time. Night